sorry about your husbands behavior & the teacher..

 think hard b4 you leave him, can you turn back & say youve tried everything.I guess i hear so many times' if i only did this .. ', when people leave  their spouses..its so much easier to get up & go w. no  children.

as for the teacher. i cant believe she said that in front of your partner.. thats so unclassy.  sad thing is they ( teachers ) sort of have it above us, its their class, butt heres a thing call respect, and  class too. sorry . stand tall. have a great wknd.

~me

[fromthisdayfwd]

 hi there.. i didnt look @ her  & wont  any more..but i figured it out, and reported her last night , so maybe they finally did something too.thats good.

anyways .. have a wonderful wknd  with your plans.

~me

[fromthisdayfwd]

schooling is important, but  dont forget to have fun too dear .:)

thnx for the message of the moderator..but i cant figure which email they want.. the link to my email when i registered.. well, that was one I deleted, so i cant even say to them ..here it is..then they send me a link, then I compain.lol.i cant even  log into the yahoo addy . oh well.I voiced my opinion on that child, and it just looks like she is lookign for attention. just dumb/stupid.

anyways ..how has your MIL been feeling..

stay happy & have a great  wknd.

(hugs)

~me

[fromthisdayfwd]

hey friend! sorry i haven't been writting in a while!

It'll be over soon.. you'll finish nursing school, youll pass your board exam and you'll be fine! don'r worry...... all these is just something to make your path alittle more challenging.... i know you'll make it... and when you finish it'll be all different and better! Be strong!

Hi Mystic!

I just wanted to let you know that I have appreciated you and your thoughts for a long time now.

It's nice to hear that there are other valuable, honest, sincere people that have similar issues, and offer encouragement and support.

"It's getting really damn old to have to defend myself in my own house."

That is a quote from your last entry, and OH MANNN that is what I have silently thought for years about my life.  It is hard, and so exhaustingly frustrating.

I am still trying, but yet another new approach ....we'll see. 

If there was more time to sort through some of this stuff, it seems like we would be able to take our own advice.    

Hmmm...

And until that pivotal moment happens, I am going to try to take better care of myself, get through school, and focus on my kids.  What do you think?  

((((((((((((((((Mystic)))))))))))))))) Love, Hugs and Prayers are being sent your way!  You sound exhausted! 

thank you so much!
it really means a lot to me that you would say that because i often worry about what people will think if i express my beliefs.

oh...and...i'm 14, lol.

(((((((((((((((((Mystic))))))))))))) Thank YOU for being happy for me! Thank You for ALL of the LOVE and SUPPORT that you send my way despite being soooo very busy.  It means alot to me!

  Love you!,

     Jewel

(((((((((((((((((Mystic)))))))))))) Hugs of healing! So sorry that your husband did those things! Said a prayer for your marriage.

   I love you tons!,

        Jewel

Hope you feel better, hun!

-Alisha-

I've heard that tuna is good for migraines, of course it doesn't help if you hate tuna.

I don't comment nearly enough. I really should do it more often.

Spiritsfire

((((((((((((((((mystic))))))))))))))) Thank YOU so much for the note...It's always a JOY and blessing to hear from you!

 I'm so sorry that you had to deal with such a RUDE person!

     Sorry that you two have been fighting!

   Have a Blessed week!

   Love you tons,

      Jewel

max has the white under his eyes like sammy. and the M shaped eyebrows[hints the name max,lol, my little mighty max]. he's got a mostly grey face with white around the mouth and nose[like liner,lol], and light grey ears. most of his back is black, he has few grey strips on his back[and 2 racer stripes down the middle like a skunk,lol.]. his legs are striped as well. he has grey eyes. [sorry rambling, i love my baby already.]

sammy and lil are both very pretty. we plan on getting max a playmate when we can afford it.

[TheLostAngel]

Heart Hugs!!!!!! Sorry that work is so stressful! Praying that it gets better!

    Love you!,

      Jewel

well remember that if you stay there you'll be the RN and they have to do what you tell them to....

oh and bythe way, it is the concert of Gianmarco, he is a peruvian singer the best.... the greatest.. and i am totally obssessed with him, i have two big posters of him on my wall he is on by desktop and my phone, i LOVE him and i am excited for the concert... i know all his songs... i can't wait to see him :)

((((((((((((((((Mystic))))))))))))))))) Thank You for the Birthday wish! 

   I only have a minute...but will run a copy of this entry and write you a letter in response this weekend.  

    Praying that all is well with you...Talk to you soon!

                       Love you!,

                           Jewel

well, for your son, i'd worry about the present... later about the future... and talk to him about the trust issue....he needs to have an idea what trust means... i am not sure he knows yet....

And thanks for the comments.... I know, that pulling away might be hard but i am determined to do it.... i don't want to be hurt, noway.... so i'll try... ia am trying to stay positive about whatever he'll decide (and when), but i deep down know that he might also hurt me.... i am AWARE of the postivie and the negative, and as the cautioned person i am, i refused to get my heart bbadly broken by him....

  I agree 100% that your grades are something to be proud of--not ashamed instead. Don't let anyone or anything make you feel otherwise to them! You're doing so well, and you have such a full plate; I'm proud of your great effort and dedication! Keep up the great work Mystic!
  So, it's finally time for that party. Sorry to hear such a low description of your husband and how he treats you......very sorry indeed. Have you told him exactly how you hear those types of comments, and the great pain they cause you? You're his wife! He should no better!
  I'm praying he will go, and be proud to be your husband! I hope it works out that way Mystic, I surely do. Prayers sent on that behalf.........

Sorry that I haven't commented lately.

Spiritsfire

woooooo--ho..congrats , no more classes. enjoy your party.

[dissapointedwife]

:)..yea for school being almost over.

sorry about your mom..

 70?.. he said norm was 110, is it based on  weight , height, age ?..

it sure wud help as an incentive if I knew 'something was wrong '.. thats the only reason why he dont eat crap all day & a pizza pie 3x's a wk. :(

thnx for advice, I will make calls.

xoxo

 enjoy everyday!

(hugs )

~me

(((((((((((((Mystic))))))))))))))) It's good to see an update from you! I miss you tons!

  YAY for the semester almost being over!  Congrats on all of your hard work!

 Glad that things are better with hubby!

 Sorry that your visit with your mom went so poorly!  I sure do miss mine alot recently.

  Have a blessed week!

   Love you!,

        Jewel 

My mom is a RN. I hope you are in a good program that will prepare you for the field. I have been hearing a lot lately that colleges just aren't preparing nurses like they used to. I think a lot of nurses get into the field just for the money without actually enjoying the job though. If you aren't interested in some thing you can't learn it. But I know you have wanted this for a long time, so you will be fine. I wish you good luck on your finals.

I have thought about nursing just because I know I would be good at the actual work. I just can't connect to people though. I am really not that good with people. I am always good at any work I do. I work in assisted living taking care of elderly people, and I have been there nearly 3 years. I still haven't connected with any of them on any kind of emotional level...like I don't get attached. I think its a good thing to actually care about the people...I think that is missing from my personality though. I am good at the work though. I am considering mortuary school. I think I would enjoy that more.

Anyways, I have said enough. Good luck on your finals.

I know what you mean about your mom complaining about the same thing over and over.... my mom does the same thing.... she vents only on me and i am tired to hear the same complains over and over again. ! but then i think i am the only one who she vents with.... so i just listen and then forget about it.....

and as for your husband... ignore him... remember all these problems with him are temporary while you finish nursing school.... your marriage will survive this you'll see... i admired you for =doing nursing school and dealing with your family i couldn't have done it. so just take a deep breath and disregard whatever he says...;.. he is just stressed that you are not home... it'll be over soon. good luck!

((((((((((((((((Mystic)))))))))))  Glad that you have come to a place of Peace with the situation! Praying that your night is FILLED with BLESSINGS!

   I love you and miss you!,

         Jewel

congrats on your psych test! Unfortunately that little voice in your head that makes you second guess all the time won't go away... i'd concentrate on learning how to ignored it.

I am not to fond of cats but pets do keep you company and make you feel loved ALL the time...

(((((((((((((((Mystic))))))))))) It's sooooo great to see an update from you! I think of you sooo very often and send up prayers on your behalf!

    So sorry to read that you were so sick..Glad that your not letting the 10% off bring you down! Go You!

    Congrats on acing the test! Go YOU!

    I hope that your babies feel better soon!

   Much Love always,

        Jewel

((((((((((((((((SisterMystic))))))))) Heart Hugs! Thank YOU for thinking of me and stopping by to let me know it! You brightened my day and made me smile!

    Thank YOU for being happy that things are looking up and for any prayers that you have said on my behalf!

 I hope that you update soon or drop me a note and let me know how you are and how things are going!

  I love you tons and pray that your day is Blessed!,

                Jewel

The most important thing i learned in nursing school was not to change my answers... so do NOT read you exam again... usually the first instict is right!

LOL I remember those catheters.... i inserted a bunch in nursing school, as for the enemas i NEVER got to do one )thank God)... and since i work with sick newborns i don't thinki will LOL

(((((((((((((((((Mystic))))))))))))) You sound in a good mood! That Blesses me! 

   Congrats on the GREAT Grades! Go YOU!

     Glad to read that your cats are bringing you smiles and joy!

     Thanks for the note!

    Much Love ALWAYS,

        Jewel

hi mystic ..

no , IM not leaving, that entry was a  copy/paste from an entry I had in a different diary , that pertained to a'friend ' I had  for a month .. Which it was just a  waste anyway, but i was proud of myself to  just leave it  alone, and NOT drift b4 it was too late is all.. SO i chose to post it on my reg diary..Knowing it was HIM working thru me, making me  NOT do something Id regret , while still being married.

Although life is CRAZY here , &  i probably wont be on as much , but no im not leaving mdd..

and sadly , even though we are leading towards divorce, i can always have my same user name , and password, for when im a single mom i guess,  i might change my ..no re-word, i will change my diary name when i am single again, as I will try to erase my life of what a mess it has been married  to him, but i will let all know, who has followed my life..

 I do have another diary on here  of my thoughts of my past w. mike /ny, but i believe you have that one anyways..I really only write in it when Im deeply hurting & cant stop thinking of whata  mistake  ive made NOT choosing him. ( oh wait.haha , thats everyday .)That was pretty much a diary to 'try to get him out of my system ',,but failed..  He'll always hold a part of my heart , I know this..but like I said, I think you know that diary already .

congrats on passing  the test.. stay happy.

~me

((((((((((((((Mystic)))))))))) Congrats on passing! YAY YOU!

  I sent a letter out in the mail to you!

  I love you tons,

       Jewel

Getting rid of dead weight can be so liberating..:)  I always know you will do well. Youa re meant for this, and you will be so wonderful at it.

hi.. thnx for your comment. yes its quit disappointing, as my name of my diary is.. it just isnt changing..but i just wanted to say thnx ..

  the tshirt was in the hamper( as usual they are ), just the way I unfold them , when prepping for laundrey is how I seen it was on there,  he has never left them(it ) on floor.. OH trust me, if that was the case.. I wud have thrown them in his face by now..

 but it does hurt, when he has a willing partner, and someone ( his wife ) crying out for luv with past letters, convo, obviouslty we still have problems, we talk of them ( well i do actually ) daily..., and he does this right next to me..  .

hed probbaly freek, but i think im going to  copy paste all these coments, in a word doc &  send  to his email address. idk, but i really think I shud, just so he knows, Its NOT ONLY his wife who is thinking this is just a screwed up situation!! .. he actually thinks I just exagerate (sp?).ahghghghggh,  a scream from inside.

ok, well.. thnx again. happiness alwayz .

`me

[dissapointedwife]

My Dear Sweet Sister,

  I can not read this right now as I am having brain fog and can not remember what I have read from one sentence to the next! But I will come back and catch up when I am able...Or run a copy and write you a letter.

   Thank YOU for your concern...You are right...I am not feeling like myself..I am having symtpoms of the bipolar and PTSD. I know that it was brought on by stress and heartache.  I will have to make some major changes in my life.

   This WILL pass- so please don't worry!   If it doesn't level out in a few days, I will call my doctor.

   Know  how very much I love you and appreciate your concern!,

                          Jewel

  You weren't all that whiny Mystic....not at all. I think if you could find a way to get just a little more sleep your feelings would improve 100%. I know the schedule doesn't allow it, but maybe if you talk to the hubby he can find a way to carry a little more of the load? I know it might be a longshot...but give it a try.

  Take care friend, and know we're here any time you really do need to vent....but this wasn't so bad. See you later, Michael

Neighbor huh? Where are you from? Thanks for stopping by my diary...You have a Happy Easter also....

Love and HUggs

Janica

hi mystic. 

i'm sorry, tonight is my first night and i'm not sure how to reply to comments posted on my diary.  to answer your question, i have been dating lance for 4 years this past valentines day. 

~pen

Dear Sister Mystic,

  Thank YOU so much for the encouraging note concerning Jess..It really helped ! 

 Things with Wayne have been better lately...But I sometimes feel as though I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.  That's no way to feel and I need to get over it.

  I sometimes get discouraged..But am desperately clinging to God and my Faith.

  How are things with work? School?  Home?

  Still praying over your schooling each morning.

  Update soon or drop me a note and let me know how YOU are.

   I love you!,

      Jewel

HAVE A BLESSED WEEKEND!

oh somethign like that happen to me when i was in nursing svhool... i had medication day, and i didn't know all the things i had to be aware of.. anyway, my teacher told me that i was unprepared that she should send me home (from clinical!) she cornered me and told me a bunch of things.... it was 850am... so the rest of my clinical day went from bad to worst. I went to my car and i started crying for 30 min.. i couldn't even breath. I called my mom and told her i was not coming back to nursing school (this was econd smeester alread) that i didn't want to be a nurse. I went home and took a two hour nap (from all the crying) ... I obviously came back to school. I didn;t quit...

You will get that feeling of wanting to quit... you are also going to doubt yourself (like now)... it is goign to happen again. But learn from your mistakes... in reality youy don't have to memorize safe dosages, there is always a drug book on the floor wherever you work, and if it isn't in the book call pharmacy they'll be happy to tell you. the important thing is that you remember where to find the information you don't know! don't be too hard on your self, just learned from every mistake you make, so you don't make the same one again. Tha's what i did, at the end of that class on second semester i had another medication day, and the teacher asked abunch of questions, and i didn't have to memorize anything, as long as i knew where to find it. I did GREAT that day, i new the main side effects, the labs to be aware of before administering the medication..... my teacher told me "you see, you did well today" ..... all that experience helped me built character! keep it up mystic... and be patient.... you'll be a good nurse... i know that for sure

(((((((((((((((Mystic))))))))))) You WILL make a GREAT Nurse! I have sooooo much Faith in you and in all that God is doing in your life.

    Still praying over your schooling every day...Sending out a letter to you!

   I LOVE YOU TONS,

       Jewel

yur exhausted we klnow this.. xoxo.take  a deep breat , and sneek in a  longggg warm bath if you can  :)

  the arm is ok( thnx  for asking ), my back hurts more..

 today is  differnt then yestersya . i was really emotional w. the lssof my aunt, im thinking cuz it hit me at any time , i can loose one of my siblings.. Im sad I only knew her froma 1 family reuinion for a wknd.. ive said my prayers, and have been in contact w. some of my dads other brothers..well, im waiting for responses from my email.. so.. good as can be , my dad seesm to be holding up good. thnx .

 happiness always .

`me

[dissapointedwife]